It's Been A LONG TIME!

It's been so long but I've been so busy lately I just don't know what to say! Other than I need to remember to keep up with this blog. Well I have many goals I want to attain for now but I will reveal them in time. Now I have some fun things to share.

Since I last posted my youngest goddaughter has walked and now learning more words and I must say I'm proud. Well I still been writing just mostly funny things been coming to mind lately nothing on serious mode yet. I experienced another BETRAYAL but hey that's the story of my life when chicks get jealous.

Have an amazing companion now and along with that AMAZING family and friends that I couldn't be more blessed to have. I know many are going to think that I had it all along but hell I have to say I've been blessed.

What's New?

Well, I am right now working on my goals for the New Year and they are not only optimistic but they are also attainable! I have goals to graduate with excellent grade point average! I must to make sure I will be respected in the career of Law. I also plan on working on my relationship with Jehovah. If I can have time for everything else why not make time for the Creator of all things? I plan to start studying the Bible more detailed and more often on a daily basis.


I also plan on doing more volunteer work because it's the right thing you know? I love giving my time to more important things. I also plan on writing a book not about my life or anything but I think nobody would be interested. Beyond that I plan on moving into the Condo of my dreams along with driving the SUV of my dreams the Range Rover. I also decided to be more social with intelligent people on my level. I don't have anymore time for immaturity or other kinds of nonsense. I love making people laugh and Entertaining my guests or people along the way but I refuse to entertain stupidity.

I will make sure to write about pop culture as I seen and witnessed it through the years but it's going to come from a whole different perspective that many never expected! I want to get statements from many and just do what I do best, add intelligence with humor and pray it gets to the homes of those who will appreciate my work.

Can't Tell Me Nothing!

Those words ring true to me because I have a gold I'm working on tirelessly and that's having a wonderful productive Spirit FILLED life! Without Jehovah there is no me and I must make things right before I do anything else in life! Not join a church that goes against everything Jehovah requires of me! That is totally out of the question! What is for me is whatever my Father has prepared and ready for me!

My God knows what's best for me but I can tell you know Jehovah is wonderful and now I have goals that are not only attainable but worth while! I am going to work very hard to achieve them because I want that life and I'm not going to let nothing or anyone get in my way. I first have to get my priorities together and that is my relationship with Jehovah and if that means having to go to a different Kingdom Hall to get results then so be it! I'm tired of having to hunt people down I mean I will study and be prepared then get thrown a curve ball and that's not right and it's totally not fair and I doubt that is how Jehovah instructs his people. Yes I got told off on a number of occasions but then for folks to get nasty it gets me angry and I am tired of being Miss Nice!

I say I have to get on my if you want it SNATCH IT MODE!! I try to make friends but I don't fit in with some of the brothers and sisters. I mean I fit in but I guess I'm not on their level or good enough for them! But I will have to show others I am good enough I'm not somebody to be looked over. I went through that enough as a kid. Being looked over for whatever the reason may be! I understand people make mistakes but it's time I start making some initiatives!!!

Now I'm going to read more and study more often I need that reference Bible that will probably help me understand. See, the Scriptures are the answers to many of life's questions. They say life don't come with an instruction manual and I disagree! The Scriptures for me is my life instruction manual and I must maintain and improve my walk with Christ! I do believe in Jehovah , I just don't believe in what man is trying to do as in worship his way and carry on life their way instead of how Jehovah clearly instructed us how! Their way is just selfish and the intentions are not pure! The Bible is clear accurate and very honest and that is why it is the source of my strength and faith and it's and answers to life's tribulation's.

Well, I will be meeting with a realtor on Monday with cousin Ruby if Jehovah's willing because I will steps closer to the life I wanted for years! Yes, we all want to live comfortably but my comfort zone is independently around the city where everything is happening! I am pursuing my career goals one step at a time! My prayers are finally answered but I must say the struggle I went through it was well worth it!

Well something new I got my magazine and my books along with my brand new laptop and I am enjoying it very much to be honest. I'm like a kid at Christmas enjoying her new toys and just have to tinker with everything and I am just as giddy. Though it took long to set up I must say I need to have a little more patient.

I am looking through my books and I can't wait to get started working on these individual cases. I mean this is so exciting I can't wait to begin the work!! I am prepared and ready to take on the challenges ahead. I have Jehovah in my corner so I know I will need plenty of prayer to get me through! What is amazing to me is that it seems like all my prayers are being bestowed upon me right in front of my eyes and it's nothing short of a miracle.

Well I have one more package to wait for and my year is complete and once that package come through that will be all she wrote for me. I need to be plenty prepared for the big things that's going to happen. With Jehovah on my side there is no limit to what I can do or handle. I know I will have my struggles and will make mistakes I mean I'm human but with Jehovah on my side and by my side I know I can do all things!

University Of Miami HERE I COME!

Yes, come on new semester I'm ready for Law School I'm so READY!!! I can't wait to get started working on individual cases and to start being fabulous. That's my taste sorry it sounds so arrogant but that's me I love being fabulous and I can't have anything that's less than that. I'm worth more than that and so are other ladies in the working field that work for their nice things and some change!

You know I never thought I would acquire this attitude because I always been such a tomboy who loves the simple things. Yes I still do enjoy the simple things but who doesn't love an upgrade? Who doesn't love being among the prestigious elites. I know one things for sure I'm not cheating myself out of anything anymore and that's what I've been doing for some time now. I'm not going to do that anymore I'm treating myself!

I'm loving the single life because I don't have to answer to anybody about anything and it's more about my needs seeing that I'm fully complete and one with myself! Once you're at peace with yourself there is nothing that can compare to that inner peace.

I got my books for my classes and I'm ready for classes to begin IMMEDIATELY I'm so impatient I just can't take it anymore! Nobody knows how deep my passion runs for law and how I know it back and forth so you know it's really exciting taking the big step and finally finishing faster than I estimated. I owe it to myself anyway if you want my honest opinion.

Well, I will be very busy studying and dedicating my time to my work and that means a lot to me now. My focus isn't on romance or anything like that, it's solely on family, education and career and that's the only thing that drives me now! With my mind solely focused on a lifetime goal there is nothing I can't do. Nothing, no matter what the obstacles I can and will achieve my life long goal finally and that is being satisfied and happy with MY decisions and my dreams! Not trying to satisfy or live for others. It's about me and as selfish as it sounds I say it's about time!

So Exciting!

Very exciting that I don't have to deal with the crowd on Black Friday since I got my Holiday shopping done ahead of time. I can't wait for classes to start and I am too impatient but things will happen in time. Good things are happening all the way around for my friends and family and I got to thank God for that because it is because of him everything is coming into light. It's amazing in every sense of the word!

Well I'm still torn about going on this trip out of town because I have a strong feeling I am going to be bored as all outdoors! Well instead of griping and complaining I decided to look at the good things about it. Well it will be a fresh trip away from it all and see what is the big deal about Tampa besides Bush Gardens.

I haven't updated my other blog in a while but with all the excitement going on I almost totally forgot about it! Well I won't forget this time because I got something great for the next update! I also have a comical blog that I created and it's created out of pure fun and laughs. Nothing more than that but I know one thing for sure I get so agitated by family that I'm strongly having second thoughts about this trip. I guess I will see by next week. I do plan on traveling more often but they will be private trips!

I don't like to be around of folks because they tend to be pests. You won't have alone time and it can get annoying so why be bothered right? It just irks me when you come with an idea it's like I want to do it too or I want to come. It's like go on your own time. LOL!!!

I'm really on the edge waiting for my youngest godchild present......

I hope they have it on time and ready!

Mystique

Just when people thought they have figured me out I throw something out there that shocks them and I love that about me. I love that people think they have me down or say oh she's this way or that way and then knock their socks off. It keeps my privacy and my sanity in a way because I would hate to just think I would reveal so much when I know so little about them. That's stupid and not how I am at all, I know when I was younger and naive I did it but now being older and wiser I learned the ropes and been around to know better than to trust everybody.

Having things to yourself and watching people reactions are a treat for me because unknowingly they reveal their true colors. You get to know people true intentions and their all out personalities and they don't even realize they're slipping. That's what I love about breaking through others persona's or facades they like to present when they are "getting to know you" stage.

So much is to be learned going through life but you know I always have to remember we are only here for a limited time so the best thing to do is to make the best of it and live it to the fullest!

Talk About Taking It SLOW!

I didn't go beyond my means but I did one hell of an upgrade if you ask me! I mean a girl only gets to splurge once in a while so why not treat myself right? Well this Xmas is going to be interesting because I got everybody in mind already together so I am very excited! Also I am very happy to say that I am registering for classes next semester so I'm hyped on getting back to the studying scene.

I know one thing for sure I have a lot of things ahead and a strong support system behind me! I also have a lot coming ahead and to look forward too personal wise and professionally as well but I don't want to spill the beans until everything falls into place. I feel so happy it's like the world at my fingertips for now. My mother's ways are showing more through me and that was bound to happen but she would be proud of her daughter no matter how silly I am at times. With new responsibility comes more challenges but nothing I can't handle so I'm pretty much prepared for anything that will come my way. Who wouldn't be I mean a new career direction with different goals planned and possibly new digs, the possibilities are endless if you ask me.

How Can I Thank Him?

Well how can I ever thank Jehovah for everything he has done? Can I ever thank him enough?

How can I thank him for everything he has done for me thus far and for the future? He brought me through so much with my personal struggles and I finally see and appreciate the blessings that's before me. It's like when you're about to lose hope and seems like everything is not going right that is when he steps him and set things right! You know how of a difference simple manners make though? I know a man who gave his life and had a hand with Jehovah in creating life and made sure you had your chance at salvation. He suffered SO MUCH and gave up his perfect life. That's not to make anybody feel guilty or sad but did you know after all that there are times he NEVER got a simple THANK YOU? Well how do thank the person who gave up his life and The Father for such gifts?


Have you ever considered your life as a precious gift though it's temporary? Have you once wondered how can you ever thank an awesome wonder as he?

God knows there is never enough ways to thank him for everything he has done for me. Jehovah is the source of life so why not thank him for the opportunity to call him my friend. At times when I don't deserve it he still blesses me beyond compare. How can you say thank you for his mercy and peace? Thanking The Father who can defeat all things and even make sure that his tests are not more than you can bare. How to do that?


Well constant prayer is the first step because nobody likes being ignored so why not have that one on one talk with the one person that knows you BEST. Sometimes are problems can go round in circles and we don't know which way to go; the right way is up. There are 3 paths Life's way Your Way and HIS Way and what's so great about Jehovah is that he never forces anything from us. So it's all up to ourselves what direction we go but here's the funny thing about that.

Say you take Life's way what life say is good and you're stuck at a stumbling block? We say to ourselves well my mind told me to do it my way so we try that way and call ourselves trying to escape or hide from him. How can you hide from someone who's everywhere and knows where you are and what you're doing at ALL TIMES? LOL!


So now you're left with one path one way one truth and you finally see THE LIGHT! So how can you thank him, prayer of thanksgiving? Worship and faithful service? That's a question I will leave you the readers to walk away with!

For my friends that gave me an encouraging word at times when I thought my faith was all lost, I thank you as well but I had to take time out to give thanks to the one whose the source of all things!

Conflicting Emotions!

You know I been through a lot lately but one thing is for sure is that I'm going through a lot of conflicting emotions right now. I mean it's bad enough I was about to give up on my faith, but when it came to the point I was starting to doubt the Father's existence it was time to start seeking his face. People don't know but sometimes it takes something tragic to make you wake up and appreciate the blessings before you.

If it's one thing I have learned is that I must keep my eyes on him and hold up that powerful shield of faith. I have to because I was too close to throwing in the towel and my God is too powerful to watch his faithful slip into one of the most obvious traps that is set against me. I say that reaching out to Jehovah is the best therapy I know! There is nobody like him and he knows me so much better than I know myself and there is no way I can turn my back on my God I just can't do it!

The Lord is my light and my salvation in whom shall I fear

I live by that scripture now and it will keep me going from this day forward. I pray that I can contain and resolve the conflicting emotions that were taking over me because it's a struggle to fight it on my own. God knows that I maybe strong but without him I am as weak as a newborn just coming in the world. I want readers to know that being stubborn and going into hiding only last for so long and there comes a time you just have to give up and give in to Christ. Having that one on one relationship was so precious to me but for me to walk away I can't imagine how much I disappointed Jehovah. But I want to come back home seeking full forgiveness.

With that and a brand new relationship I can't begin to explain how much peace I will finally have! A peace I haven't experienced in years. It's intricate to explain but I will try, it's that kind of peace where you can open up about anything.

So pray for me while I endure this battle!

What's Up People?

Been a while since I last came up in here but yes, it's time for a fabulous update! See it's been a while since my mother's death but things are going well. Since then I got a new PC and things are doing okay. I mean I have great people in my corner for me supporting me the best they know how.

Now, everybody who knows me knows I'm a OLD SCHOOL FANATIC and besides my love for the Jackson's I'm a HUGE DEBARGE FAN! I love them no matter what anybody says you know? They had their trials and tribulations just like anybody else but I have to give it to them that whole family is truly talented and it's a rare blessing to have an entire gifted family of soul singers. If you ask me their underrated and it's not fair!

That's how life is and when life toss it's hurdles you have to overcome them just like anybody else and what's great about having faith is that it can help you overcome any and everything. I read an article about the family titled The Rise and Fall of the Debarge family and I got really irked with the title because of this main reason. The writer is acting as if the family won't comeback! I wonder if they ever heard Donnie McClurkin's song We Fall Down?

Anyway, I have a full weekend ahead which might include something steamy! But I have homework and a story to start jotting down so keep your eyes peeled!

Starting Over

On August 15, 2007 I lost my beautiful mother! She died and for some reason I really don't felt I lost her. Yes I get selfish at times and wish to have her back now more than ever, but then again I'm happy she's no longer suffering and having to deal with this wicked disgusting world.

Many people are still going on telling me I should grieve but the process ended for me at the funeral to be honest. I know that I did all I could do and that I loved her more than anything. With all the rumors going on afterwards, it upsets me that people don't have enough respect for my mother at least to leave me alone. There are the bitter, the envious, and just hateful alike, I'll tell you what though; those monkey fools won't stop or run the show!

I am blessed to have my amazing godparents because without them only God knows where would I be emotionally, physically, and mentally. I resumed classes yesterday and I must say I really have more strength than what I thought I had. It took a lot to deal with the crap I'm dealing with afterwards and it took a lot to even attend seeing her in that casket. Just seeing my mother my best friend not being able to tell me she love me anymore just broke my heart. Then I just felt satisfied knowing she is no longer in pain or sick.

My godparents have been very amazing to me and I just can't thank God enough for that blessing. My mother made the perfect choice when she picked my godparents Patricia and Lawrence Jenrette. They are the best anybody could ask for! Then my god sisters what more can I ask for? They are the best! One gave me my god daugther and she is my heart! I love being a godparent more than anything.

I just don't like the bitterness going around now with the nasty lies and comments but I say to those going around with a negative comment and idiotic ideas, God Bless You because your foolishness and stupidity added with your ignorance makes me stronger and improves my patience.

CRUNCH TIME!

You know I had one heck of a weekend but it's crunch time. I have a long huge project to type and I'm not really worried about it but the thing is having to print all those pages will drive anybody nuts if you ask me!

Hey no biggie I have classes tomorrow and I can say I'm a bit okay because we have a buffer test to take and then I have so much to study but I can't wait because for some reason I really love to do tests. Studying is my thing but the thing that gets on my nerves is having to take the test and I get so damn nervous it just drives me nuts.


My thing is waiting on the new Rush Hour 3 film starring one of my favorite actors Chris Tucker. His comedic films are great but what's outstanding about Chris is that unlike some comedic actors his talent is not limited to comedy. His skills in Dead Presidents just blew me away!

As far as everything else has been going, well I've been working on a couple of surprises and I must say that I am happy that I will be the one that will bring a lot of smiles to people who least expect it. That includes my goddaughters. They don't know what's gong to hit them when they get a surprise visit with gifts along with the ride.

My eyes were filled with glee when I seen a Tinkerbell themed journal. I know it seems quite childish but if you only knew how much I love the little fairy nobody would suspect that I'm actually 25 years old now. Though I can be very playful I'm not to be messed with when it's time to be serious. I am very fierce when I have to be!

Can't believe I finished reading Aphrodite's book so quickly but I must say each account that she penned were really some revelations that I thought were an eye opener among other things. I just hope that many would go beyond the unnecessary hype of others trying to down the book and pick it up and read it! It's something they will actually learn about besides reading idiotic gossip blogs that are relentless in revealing scandal and controversies that are mostly malicious lies. I guess it's human nature to tear down someone they are jealous of these days.

Well I'm off for now but before I log off I just want readers out there to remember, there's nothing wrong with NOT following the crowd because being different is what makes us ALL special. Remember to stay focused on your goals because nothing or anybody can stop you from achieving them but yourself! Also, stay true to yourself and the rest will naturally follow!

Form an entity of creativity to another! God Bless You ALL!

I'm BACK!

Hey,

I'm back again after a little hiatus but I'm here and I will be updating my other blog to keep the knowledge rolling! It's been a crazy week last week and this week has been kind of the straighten things out week. I had issues beyond belief going on but this week was putting things together week. The family is great now but the only thing driving me nuts is school.

You know Med school is awesome and if I had a choice I would never leave the school. Why I say that is because it's my only escape from a lot of things that irk my nerves. I purchased Aphrodite's Book and I have the three day wait to look forward to and you know what? That's not bad! I had a lesson in patience last week so what's three days right?

My HUGE prescription packet for class is going to due soon and I want to DIE because I procrastinated so long that it's not funny. Now I have to get the ball rolling. I got stared last week and it's due next Thursday so you know I'm about to loose my mind but I want to pass so I won't get stuck up again so lets get it started. I know I'm not the only one who waits until the last minute to do projects.

Life Is Great!

You know I thought I couldn't and wouldn't but I passed both exams and I'm so proud of myself and happy as well. The only thing I can kick myself for was leaving my calculator home and having to purchase another one on campus at the bookstore. I really have to admit I was really nervous about this exam because I had to just really concentrate a bit more because the questions were worded differently and rushing can cause you to overlook something and make a simple mistake.

The single life is really more relaxing and the least stressful. I try to stay upbeat so I must be very careful at all times when it comes to trust and friendship. I must say I am very blessed to have the ones that are in my life today and I don't take their friendship for granted because they are there for me every step of the way and I'm grateful and this is from the heart I truly appreciate them.

I have been in prayer last night and I must say that was the most relaxing sleep I've had in a long time. I really didn't want to wake up but as with everything else I have to. I'm proud to say that I am happy that my puppy he is now getting into everything. He's not as mischievous as I thought he was going to be; rather he's more smart about it. He's very observant and very playful at times but he's an angel!

I got a chance to see Stormy Weather and I love it! I seen it earlier but I never had the chance to fully express why I love it. Too see the talent in every aspects was very fulfilling to me and I can't begin to say how thrilled I was by Lena Horne and The Nicholas Brothers along with Cab and Bill Robinson!!!

Gives me goosebumps every time I think about it and then there is my grandmother's favorite along with mine which is Cabin In The Sky! I love that film as well and I just can't help but bursts with pride enjoying the film. We as a people come a mighty long way and I would hate to see us back track.

Oh What A Day!

Well my puppy came home yesterday and this morning he was funny. He chased my brother through the house and I must say I haven't laughed that hard in long time so it's one of those laugh out loud moments. Well my day off is going to be filled with studying and completing my homework and good think that I did most of it earlier in the week. We all have those moments where we are like look I will do it later.

I have a couple of more prayers to write but good news is I continue study Saturday and there are some subjects that I must confront so Saturday is going to be perfect. I got some Scripture reading to catch up on so I will make sure I get to that tomorrow! While updating this blog I want to make sure I make myself clear on some things.

One I'm not perfect and being a Christian is not easy so those being stones my words are clear and simple.....

He who is without sin cast the first stone!

Okay besides that I have a load of homework to complete so until then

God Bless You!

In With The New!

Well isn't that special? We had a very long lecture in class yesterday but today is going to be long as well. I'm happy I figured out the equivalents for the first time on my own. I'm not going to lie it had me really confused but once I was instructed on what to do the rest was simple. Now, this time in class it might be more difficult than I thought but I will be ready so all I can say is bring it on.

I wrote out my prayer to Jehovah and I'm going to write another but unlike the others I not only write it but I follow it with a heartfelt prayer. Prayer is really a lot to me now since I've abandoned it for some time. That's my sole responsibility and I hold myself accountable for not making it my priority to have prayer and to have that prayer time with God.

Being that I'm now more into my goals than letting other things get in the way, I feel that I'm slowly getting back on the right track. I really do and I must say that I'm proud of myself for taking the first step which was identifying my faults. Man without Jesus in my corner I don't know what I would do because my life is not as easy as some would think since they are only viewing it from a distance.

I have been swamped with homework but it won't seem like it because I finish it in reasonable time. I take time out for many things because I know live by a schedule. The thing is I'm going to get a planner and go by my planner. It's best to be very organized with classes and everything. I have to make sure everything is in place so I can achieve my personal yet attainable goals.

7/7/07

Talk about a wonderful day! My god daughter had her first birthday party and I am so proud of her. She is officially one year old and so adorable and precious it's just too cute. Now what is so wonderful about today is that I got reunited with an old flame! Yes, he's back in my life in full force and I have to say it's wonderful to know that it's true! Good things DO come to those who wait!

My life is getting better and better from what I see, but the thing is why? I mean it started Thursday! Yes I finally got blood, yes I drew blood for the first time. I also have great news....
I PASSED THE CHAPTER TEST! Talk about a blessing! I mean it wasn't a perfect "A" but I passed and the coming weeks I have to do more studying because I have to keep on myself to read the chapter and study study study.......

I need to be ahead because we are doing prescriptions and a bit of Pharmacology! I can't wait and I am making sure that I have my calculator because I want to be on my game. I also began setting higher goals so I have to start working on them and praying about them. Hopefully I made the right decisions!

I'm so amazed how things turned around so quickly because it started off bad and now everything is working out well. What can I say I have a long way to go and I'm grateful to Jehovah for helping me every step of the way.

Back Again!

Time sure flies but that doesn't mean I forgot about you. Here is what's been up lately in the life of Selfie...


Well as you know I started a new semester full of Patient Requisition forms, blood work, and many more. Yes it may seem creepy and a lot of work but hey, it happens to be what I do and I love it. So many don't understand how I would love working with patients but hey I'm a people person when it's not the same people I have to deal with every day.

My goddaughter has a birthday coming up and I can't help but be so proud of her because she is such an angel.

I will have a very full schedule in the coming days, so there will be rare updates on my blogs but don't fret I will not forget to update either one.

The single life is more fulfilling than I thought but I say this much, don't knock it til you try it! With relationships there is stress and there are trust issues and you're always put to the test. It's not worth it unless you're receiving the exact same love and respect you're giving!

A New Day!

Talk about the weekend kicking off to a great start. Just wish that I didn't get contact back with my past that was haunting me. I'm not surprised that I didn't hear from certain people because that is not what I'm in the mood for.

As far as my relationships goes that is over with and I thank God that it's over because dwelling on the past, especially past that hurts only bring more unnecessary negativity which I don't need at the moment.

I'm trying to find closure and serenity!

Peace of mind will do me just fine!