You know I been through a lot lately but one thing is for sure is that I'm going through a lot of conflicting emotions right now. I mean it's bad enough I was about to give up on my faith, but when it came to the point I was starting to doubt the Father's existence it was time to start seeking his face. People don't know but sometimes it takes something tragic to make you wake up and appreciate the blessings before you.
If it's one thing I have learned is that I must keep my eyes on him and hold up that powerful shield of faith. I have to because I was too close to throwing in the towel and my God is too powerful to watch his faithful slip into one of the most obvious traps that is set against me. I say that reaching out to Jehovah is the best therapy I know! There is nobody like him and he knows me so much better than I know myself and there is no way I can turn my back on my God I just can't do it!
The Lord is my light and my salvation in whom shall I fear
I live by that scripture now and it will keep me going from this day forward. I pray that I can contain and resolve the conflicting emotions that were taking over me because it's a struggle to fight it on my own. God knows that I maybe strong but without him I am as weak as a newborn just coming in the world. I want readers to know that being stubborn and going into hiding only last for so long and there comes a time you just have to give up and give in to Christ. Having that one on one relationship was so precious to me but for me to walk away I can't imagine how much I disappointed Jehovah. But I want to come back home seeking full forgiveness.
With that and a brand new relationship I can't begin to explain how much peace I will finally have! A peace I haven't experienced in years. It's intricate to explain but I will try, it's that kind of peace where you can open up about anything.
So pray for me while I endure this battle!
